Please Advise: My Parents Have Taken Over Our Wedding

“My parents are helping us pay for our wedding. The problem is that their vision of our day and our vision are not the same: they’re picturing something big and grandiose; something their friends will be talking about for years to come. My fiancé and I want something intimate and more meaningful to us. How do we plan the type of wedding we want without looking ungrateful?”

Kim Kardashian’s wedding decor via

I sympathize with you – I was in that exact same position. My fiancé and I wanted a small intimate ceremony in a park with a huge pizza party reception. It took a lot of arguing and being called ungrateful before my last ditch effort to have a wedding: I wrote them a letter.

In the letter, I explained what we wanted, why we wanted it and stressed how important it was to have our parents support us through one of the greatest times of our lives. I was honest with my parents in the letter and writing it down made it more difficult to get lost in an argument. My parents were able to read it over and over again, and it got through their heads. It wasn’t all happily ever after with them afterward, but it was much better.

Also, if you have a sibling that does want a grandiose wedding, mention that to them. My sister Tara wants a huge wedding, so I’d always reassure my mom that she’ll have the wedding of her dreams whenever Tara gets married.

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